The Road Is Yet Ahead Us
by The quiet lion
Summary: Settled after The Long Con. Kate confronts Jack and they have a fight. No spoilers, just my point of view. Does also include Hurley.


**The Road Is Yet Ahead Us.**

_I love you not only for what you are,_

_But for what I am when I am with you. _

_I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,_

_But for what you are making of me._

_I love you for the part of me that you bring out._

_**Elizabeth Barrett Browning**_

_Creak._

A slight moan escaped his lips. He breathed heavily.

_Another creak._

His movements were quick and precisely. He swung the axe and aimed at the piece of wood that was lying on the ground in front of him.

_Creak. Swing. Creak._

Sweat seemed to embrace his whole body. He tried to wipe the sweat off of his forehead and raised the axe to strike again and...

_Creak._

This time it wasn't the axe that had caused the noise. It was _someone._ Someone who broke the wood underneath its steps.

"Hello there, Jack."  
She stood maybe ten feets away, looking at him with a shy smile. She fumbled with her hands in the pocket, energetically and nervously.  
He raised his axe to strike another time and the wood creaked once again. He looked over to where she stood, nodded his head to say hello. He didn't say anything, he turned around instead to chop the wood up small again...  
"I see, you don't want to talk to me." she said sarcastically. She didn't move.  
"Not in the mood." he replied annoyed.  
"So tell me, Jack, when _are_ you in the mood to talk to me? Or do you insist on avoiding me whenever you can?" She grew impatient.  
He turned around, looking exhausted and upset.  
"I am just not in the mood to talk to _anyone _right now, okay?"  
"I don't believe you." She said simply.  
"Excuse me?"  
"I said that I don't belive you. You're avoiding me since days now, Jack!"  
"So what, Kate?" What do you need me to say? What do you want me to talk about, Kate?" He looked eyes with her, waiting for her to answer.  
"I...ugh...I just...you know, you can't change it anymore, Jack. Sun has been attacked and she's alright now, thanks to you. Can you please stop being so stubborn and tell me what the hell is going on with you?"  
"Nothing's going on with me. I am just tired of arguing. Arguing with _you_, good grief! And besides, you don't need to know anything _at all_!"  
She took a few steps closer to him. She hadn't seen him so tensed up since the day he yelled at her when they headed out to find Michael. She was hurt and sad at the same time. She didn't want them to be this way. She didn't want to lose the connection they used to share... _used to, _she thought bitterly  
So, she took all the courage she had and said, in a more gentle way this time:  
"Listen, Jack, I didn't mean to offend you, I just wanted to make sue you were alright- after, after what happend yesterday. You seemed confused and upset, that's all."  
"I'm fine, Kate. Thank you, but you really shouldn't worry. I can take care of myself."  
He sighed and lay the axe aside that he had hold in his hands the whole time. His hands were full of sweat. He grabbed his backpack that lay on the ground, looked for the water bottle and when he found it, he took a few sips of the water, quenching his thirst.  
"I am serious. Stop it."  
"Stop what?"  
"THAT." She was almost at the edge of screaming. He was taken aback at her sudden outburst and looked at her, startled. Before he could say anything, she continued.  
"Stop pushing me away like I am some pice of crap, Jack! I was just trying to help you, okay." She spoke fast. The words were coming out of her mouth like a waterfall. She exhaled audibly. "Can you just forget the fact that you're still mad at me? I just want to help, alright?" Her look was desperate now.  
"I can't change the fact that I am mad at you, Kate. Okay? I just can't. Not now. Not in the near future but I will eventually. I..."  
"No, you won't!" she interrupted him. "You'll never stop being like this. I've understood. You made your point. Thanks."  
She tended to go but he grabbed her arm forcefully.  
"Okay. Now _YOU_ tell me what the hell is going on with YOU! What's your problem, Kate? Did you forget it? Did you forget that you were taken by the others when I told you not to come? Of course, I am mad at you! What did you think you were doing, huh? Do you always have to put yourself in danger?"  
"Let go of me!" she screamed.  
"No. It's too late now, Kate. We're going to talk this over. Answer my questions!"  
"I won't answer anything, Jack. It's my right. I came here to talk to you, to _help _you and all you do is YELL at me! Great. That's really not what I need right now."  
"Fine. I really appreciate it that you're trying to help me. I really appreciate it that you helped me with Sun yesterday, but you know what, I'm sick of chasing after you! I don't get it. Why'd you do it? Why'd you go after us when I told you to take care of the button?" He was still holding her arm, dragging it.  
"I told you I wanted to help, Jack. You know that I can track trails down as well. I could've helped you. Why didn't you let me? I am not a stupid woman that can't take care of herself, I am not- -"  
"Why are you questioning my actions? I said I needed you at the hatch! You were the only one who knew what happened, why would you chase us? Why didn't you do what I told you to do? I thought, after all we've been going through these past two months, that I could trust you, that I could rely on you. Guess that I was wrong." He paused. "You know well enough that I don't think you're a stupid woman, Kate..." He let go of her arm and looked away. He didn't want to be like that. He didn't want to yell at her, but it was the only way to make her understand apparently...  
"You can trust me, Jack." A single tear escaped her cheek.  
"I said I am sorry and when you said you were sorry, too, I knew you didn't mean it like I did. I... I said I made a mistake but you don't understand. I am sorry, I am really sorry...seriously..." She couldn't handle it anymore. She avoided his gaze and looked down at her feet.  
"How can I be sure you won't disappoint me again? And how can you assume that I am not sorry? Of course, I am sorry, I.."  
"Because I saw the look in your eyes, Jack! I saw hurt and betrayal. And that made me hurt, too. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, Jack, okay? You don't understand it, do you? I wanted to make sure you guys were alright..." Another tear escaped her cheek, faster than the first one. She couldn't stop the tears from spilling down her face anymore, but she didn't care. She was sick of hiding her emotions. She slowly wiped away her tears. Now it was his turn to look away. He couldn't handle her crying.  
"You really think this is easy? I didn't mean to yell at you." He was whispering. He spoke so softly that she slmost didn't hear him. "But you weren't listening to me. How else could I have made you understand? Tell me, Kate, how else could I have made you understand...?"  
"Well, you didn't have to yell at me in front of them! Look, I get it that you're mad at me- that I followed you- but for all the other private things between us you didn't have to yell at me." She started to sob but he didn't take any notions of this.  
"Don't tell me what I can and what I can't do! You scared the hell out of me, Kate! You are still not getting it! I care about you, Kate, I care about you more than I ever thought I would. But I do, I can't change that and you can't change it either! So stop judging my actions. I am so sick of it. I yelled at you, because I didn't want you to get hurt. I needed you to stay behind. I had to focus on Michael and when I saw you tied up, when I realized that this Zeke guy used you to blackmail us, I couldn't bear it. I didn't want you to see in danger but you made it happen when you decided to follow us! I said this before, I appreciate your help on anything else, I really do, but you betrayed me, Kate. And it wasn't the first time, was it." He looked at her, hurt and uptight. Kate could see the pain in his eyes which made her even more desperate. She couldn't say anything, she could hardly breathe, because her sobs had become so melancholy that it was almost impossible to bear. He quickly grabbed his backpack and walked away from her. Just when she broke down, a single tear of his was spilling down his cheek, slowly and painfully, expressing all the anger, hurt and emotion he knew he could ever feel inside of his broken heart...

She didn't know for how long she was sitting on that cursed tree trunk Jack had been choping wood before; she didn't know how long it was ago that her eyes were wet from crying. But it was getting dark, that was evident to her. So she must have been sitting here for a couple of hours, she thought. Bugger me, how could this have happend? How could she be such a wreck? How could she ever assume that things were going to be alright again between Jack and her? She had made a mess of it. It was all her fault and she deseverd to be treated like that. She couldn't stop crying, she couldn't stop thinking about how angry he had looked. How angry _she _had made him. She hurt him, she knew. Deeply and despicable. Like a stab in his chest. And despite all of his anger he had said the words she imagined him to say to her so many times.

"_I care about you, Kate, I care more about you than I ever thought I would."_

She sighed. Did he really say this? Did he really mean it? No, she shouldn't judge his statements at all. Not after she had seen him like that. Not after she had seen the hurt in his eyes, but most of all, not after she had seen his sincere truthfulness in the unplumbed depth of his eyes when he said those words to her...

She gained self- assurance again as she was calming down a little bit. She had to go tell him, she had to make sure he didn't misunderstand her. He had the right to knew. No matter how much he must despise her right now, she needed him to know. He _had_ to know. She _needed_ him to know, she _needed _ to make him understand, because she knew that he could understand her. They were both so different from many points of view, their backgrounds, their art of living before they crashed, but still, they both were equal from the bottom of their hearts that it scared her. She couldn't explain it AT ALL but she could feel it. She felt it everytime she saw him, everytime they looked eyes; she felt it like a warm summerbreeze upon her skin that it made her shiver everytime she inhaled this feeling. It felt so good, it felt so _right _to her and everytime she felt it was like te first time she could sense it at all. She closed her eyes and wiped away the last tears she had cried silently. She had to go. Her decision was made. Nothing could hold her back anymore...

"Wow, dude, you look kinda...worn-out." Hurley said when Jack entered the hatch after he left Kate in the jungle. He knew he shouldn't have walked away from her like that, after all what happened to Sun yesterday. She was angry at himself for not forgiving her. He was anry at himself that he made her cry again. Over and over. Suddenly, Hurley's voice came to his mind again.  
"You've been choping wood agin, haven't you? Dude, really, it's time to lighten up a bit...you can't be that angry all the time. Look, I really think it's time.."  
Jack cut him off. "I am not angry."  
"Sure. You're not angry." he said ironically.  
"Yeah, what ever. I'm gonna have a shower now." He walked away from him and the last thing he heard was Hurley calling after him "Dude, that's still not a denial!"

The hot water was running down his body quickly and slowly at the same time. He sunk into the feeling of slight relief. He could feel his body losing the tension it had build up during the days. That was exactly he had needed right now. A hot and nice shower all for himself...

When she entered the hatch she found Hurley sitting in front of the computer, reading some paper.  
Hey Hurley." she greeted him weary.  
"Hey Kate, what's up? You feeling okay? You look exhausted." He could see she had been crying. Her cheeks and eyes were still red, her hair was a mess which she had tried to hide in a teat but he could still see the curls hanging around loosely and tousled. "Yeah, well, it's been a hard day." she confessed under a nervous chuckle.  
"I see. You're here for a special reason or just looking for someone?"  
"I...actually I was looking for Jack. Is he around?" she asked  
"Umm, yeah, he's taking a shower right now."  
"Oh, I see. Just tell him I'm waiting for him in the lounge, will you?" She looked at him, squeezing a little smile out of her.  
"Of course, I'll do that."  
"Thanks, Hurley. I see you later." And so she walked out of the room, in the direction of the lounge of this creepy hatch...  
"Cya later!" he yelled after her, shaking his head once again. Weird people those two, he thought.

Not long after she had come to the hatch, Jack came walking into the lounge not knowing what to expect. Hurley hadn't been around when he had walked out of the shower. He decided to have a look around the hatch and when he walked into the lounge...  
"I need you to know, Jack." she said once again so simple.  
Taken aback at her present he stopped immediately.  
"Sorry?"  
"I need you to know, Jack. I need you to know _why_ I wanted to come after you. I just need you to know, okay? Just let me talk and listen to me." she pleaded with him.  
He didn't know if he actually wanted to know the reasons for it but something inside of him told him that he should better listen, so he nodded.  
"I am mess. A complete mess, alright? And those last weeks had been intense. I was getting frustrated and time couldn't heal anything at all, so I got more frustated. Frustated with myself and how things were. I kept all of this to myself, because I didn't want anybody to see my like this. I was so vulnerable inside, Jack." She looked him straight in the eyes and he kept her gaze for a couple of seconds until she continued.  
"This place is a fricking mystery and we don't know anything about it. We think we do, but we're still cluesless. _I _am still clueless and I know you are, too. I never wanted to hurt yo like I did. I am _so _sorry, you have to believe me. You have to believe me this time..."  
"Kate, what are you talking about?" he interrupted her.  
"I am talking about the day when I kissed you, Jack! I am talking about the day when I ran away from you!" She rose her voice desperately to make him understand. He _had _to understand.  
He stared at her blankly.  
"I don't understand...what does this has to do with anything we..."  
"Because it happened! OKAY! If you want to deny it, fine, but I won't, Jack. I can't. I can't do it anymore. I won't tell myself anymore that nothing happend between us, I just can't! Damn it, it's all my fault, I get it, I really do..."  
"You do..?" he snaped ironically.  
"Stop it, okay? Why are you always like this, Jack? I am here to talk to you and you just blow everthing away! Just like that! I don't regret what happened between us, I don't regret that I kissed you, I'm just sorry for _how _it happend. I never meant to overcome you like this. I saw into your eyes, Jack, and what I saw scared me. I saw the reflection of my own feelings when I looked into your eyes. I realized the same thing you did when...  
"What the hell, Kate? You call yourself a "free-spirit", a "wild thing." And you're afraid somebody's gonna stick in your cage. Well, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself and it's always wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you only end up running into _yourself! _ The only thing I wanted to do that day was to help you. But you didn't let me. Instead you tried to solve your problems in kissing me and when you realized what you did, you ran away fom me. But most of all, you ran away from yourself and I am wondering why..."  
"Stop analyzing me, Jack! I know you can read my mind already. And it scares me the hell out of me! All of this scares me!" She fluttered her arms around, gesticulating widly. "I never thought this could happen to me again, I never thought that _I _could allow myself to feel this way again. But you make me feel it. It comes down the way so simply and naturally and it's all because of you! I always try to deny that I am actually running into nowhere all the time and I know it's part of the reason why I ran, but do you actually think this is all of it? Do you even think of any other possibilities why I ran away, Jack? Do you even..."  
"Everyday." he stated out of a sudden.  
They shared an intense look. It was desperate, yet so longing and beautiful because it said so much. It said all they could probably put in words... all they _imagined _ they could possibly ever say to each other. A look of understanding, after all.  
She took a few steps closer and inhaled the scent that escaped his figure, a mix of freshness and delicate odour that surrounded his body... she longed to touch him now more than ever. He needed his arms to embrace her again, like he did when she broke down in front of him. She needed to feel his body pressed against her petite shell again and most of all, he needed him to say that it was alright to break down and cry. To let it all out, her fears and worst apprehensions... Tears were spilling from her eyes at this memory and she, once again, looked him in the eyes so deeply that it almost seemed to break her heart.  
"Jack", she began, "Jack, I ran away from you, because I realized that I was falling in love with you! After all this time, Jack, I am falling in love with you."  
She blinked away a new tear that was making its way down her cheek and with a final look, she turned around on her heel and escaped the hatch as fast as she could. She ran for the beach. She ran for the beach as fast as she could, escaping reality and herself...

He felt the water surround his feet. A cold but enjoyable feeling. He was looking across the ocean at the break of dawn... Infinity wraped his body when he was thinking of the events between Kate and him just a couple of hours ago. He took a deep breath, trying to absorb everything that had been said. He knew that this was only the begining of insecurity and self- doubt, he knew that this was only the begining of the road they had yet to take... He didn't want to lose her, he thought to himself. He didn't want to lose their connection they had shared so many times before. Thinking this all over, he sunk into the water, trying to figure out what to do. He knew difficult times lay yet ahead them but he wanted to take all of those risks. He wanted to _feel _again and he wanted to be alive again. He knew that this could happen with her only but he was willing to start all over. He was willing to let her in this time, _completely and everlastingly._

She didn't sleep the entire night. She couldn't gain any rest so she decided to get up eventually. Her head was hammering in ache. Little bits of their fight were coming to her mind again. Ouch, it hurt so much; she was lost again.  
She stepped out of her tent and the first thing she saw was a person standing on shore of the ocean. She recognized him immediatley. The line of his body was chiseld in her head like nothing else. He knew what he was doing. After all this pain they had been through just hours ago, she had to smile. She had to smile at the fact that he was standing there at the edge of the ocean, sinking, That's what he does, she thought. No matter how screwed she is, he was the one that was able to make her smile all over again. She sighed quitely and turned around to go back into her tent. She didn't want to interrupt his moment and she didn't want to meet him just yet. They needed some time apart, she knew. Time was all they had on this island and after all, the road was yet ahead them...


End file.
